Every Second Counts

I have never had such a rush of emotions in my life, in just a matter of seconds. Today my cousin, her husband, and their two children came over to help put up a couple of ceiling fans in my house, and then we all had a late lunch. There was half a cheese burger left over from lunch, so I decided to cut it up for Jonny for dinner.
I cut up the half cheeseburger, but I didn't give him the outside of the burger, because it tends to get a bit tougher. I also cut up some green beans, and put some of that on Jonny's tray. I turned around to the kitchen counter to cut up some potatoes from some leftover potato salad. When I turned around Jonny had a horrified look on his face, he was not making any noise, and he was not breathing.
I didn't even have a second to think. I screamed for my husband who was outside with the dogs, I ripped the tray off of the high chair, picked him up and put his belly over my arm and hit his back. Food came flying out of his mouth, but he still wasn't making noise or breathing. I put my finger in his mouth, scooped some burger out, and hit him on the back again. He took a big breath in and started crying.
I started balling my eyes out too! I huge sigh of relief!!

I went from everything was fine and dandy making dinner, to terrified, to relief, to guilty, to upset, to relief, to okay.

I was terrified to turn around and see my child not breathing. There are not enough words in the world to describe how scared I was. I have taken many CPR courses, but nothing can prepare you to have to actually use any of it. You can practice and practice and practice, but you never know for sure if you are going to do it right. And all bets are off when it's your own child. I have done the hymlick on my step-sister when we were much younger, but it is way different when it's for a child. And when it was not my child I was able to hold myself together much better.
When he finally took a breath I was so relieved, but I felt guilty. What if I didn't turn around when I did? I should not have even turned around at all. I should have watched him for more than the first bite, and made sure he was going to do okay with the burger. I felt so guilty and upset with myself. I was so relieved that he was okay, I was crying myself. I sat down on the floor and I cried, and I kissed him, and I told him how much I loved him.

All of this happened in a matter of seconds. I know that I love my child more than my life it's self, but in a matter of seconds I actually knew how it could feel to lose him. I think I will value every second of my life a little more than I did before. I know how blessed I am to have him in my life, and I never want that feeling again.

Thank God for all of the CPR courses I have taken!

Ouch!

Well I have been on a diet since April. I started at 258lbs and I am down to 215lbs....long way to go! But I really need to tone my legs and arms, so I picked up a pilates video. I did it for the first time 3 days ago, and yesterday I was sooooo sore! I thought I was going to cry. At work picking up 50 lb boxes which is usually no problem, and I thought my body was going to break into a million pieces.
We have also been hiking alot, hoping that this will help in the weight loss. If nothing else it is nice to get out into the fresh air.
Had a nice relaxing weekend (besides being in pain from working out) My hubby wanted to go hiking, but I decided I needed to take a break. So we stayed in mostly.

Taking things into my own hands

Literally.


Almost 2 months ago during a horrific rain storm it was pouring inside my house. Okay so that is a bit of an exaggeration, however rain did come in my window all around my air conditioner. My husband tried to move the air conditioner (while it was raining, and the drywall below the air conditioner was a bit wet) and his knee went right through the wall.



I was more than upset! I will admit I like new things, and I like my things to look new. We bought our house 2.5 years ago so I don't like the idea of a hole in my wall. My husband is also not exactly Mr Fix it. He tries very hard, but he is not the handiest of people. I think if he had a little more confidence in himself he would do better. Because he lacks some confidence he does not always try things, or he just pushes them off, and off, and off. At least until I say that I am going to do it...then he jumps and does it.

Well that brings me back to taking things into my own hands. Last night I decided that I was going to fix the hole in the wall, but if I asked him where the stuff was while he was home he would have done it. So this morning he went to work, and once he got there I asked him where the stuff was. I gathered it together, read the directions and gave it my best shot. At the moment it does not look very pretty,



Once I sand it and paint it, it will look good........Right? I mean it cant possibly look worse than it did with a hole there right?

I even had a little help from a very cute little man

Dear Jonny, 9 Months

Dear Jonny,

Today you are 9 months old! You have been out in the world as long as I carried you anxiously awaiting your arrival. As much as I can't believe you have been here in my life for 9 months, I am having an even harder time grasping the fact that you will be a year old in 3 short months! It makes me sad that you are growing so fast, however I am very proud of you and the little man that you are becoming. I have hard that time speeds up as you get older, and it is so true.
I am your momma so I am probably a little bias, but you are SO smart. According to what the doctors look for in growth and development you have done things a little behind the curve, but when you learn it you perfect it almost immediately You are feeding yourself puffs, fruit, and even some meats. You are sweet. You are strong. You are very independent, and you rarely want to cuddle. But when you do you let me know! You give kisses. You have a beautiful heart melting smile. You talk, and very loudly. You have the most amazing belly laughs ever. You love blueberries, and bananas. Who am I kidding, you LOVE food. You are a little explorer, and a little daring. You crawl at the speed of sound, and you love when mommy chases you. You stand up on everything always looking for me to make sure I am within sight.
Jonny, I have been thinking a lot about change lately. Changes in me, changes in you, changes in our family, and for the first time in all of my adult life all of these changes are good. All of these changes bring joy to my day.

I am excited to continue to watch you grow, and a little sad as you grow into a little man, and grow out of being my little cuddly baby. I am so proud of you, and all of the changes that are taking place. I am proud to call you mine, and I hope that one day you will be proud to call me yours.
You have changed my life in ways I don't even know how to explain. You brighten my world every day and I just can't imagine the world without you.

Happy 9 months baby! I love you very much

~Mommy