Last night was the first time that the hubby was home alone with our little one. I know he was nervous but I have to admit that I think I was far more anxious and worried.
Not because I don't think he can do it, but more because I know he doubts himself that he can do it.
I drove 45 minutes away from home to have dinner with a friend. I took my phone out 5 times, but I was good and also put it away 5 times. I got to the restaurant 5 minutes early, I sat in my car, and I just kept looking at my phone.
I needed to call and make sure everyone was happy and healthy, and no one was screaming or crying, including my husband. I didn't want my husband to think that I didn't believe in him, or think that he could not do it. So for the last time before going in the restaurant I looked at my phone, put it on vibrate, and tucked it into my pocket.
For dinner we ordered pasta and mozzarella sticks, as well as a glass of sangria. At the time I should have been thinking about what my two boys were doing at home, and wondering if the house has yet caught on fire, but instead after ordering all I could think of was "weighing in" the next day.
I was feeling guilty about what I was eating, but that feeling was squashed but the thought of what my husband was eating for dinner, or if he was eating at all. I know from being a stay at home mom, that it can be hard to meet my child's needs, and try to get a meal in.
Well I laughed and had fun with my friend over dinner. Talking about what is new in our lives, and what our past times have been. For her it was working, and working out, Me it was Breastfeeding, and changing diapers. Not quite the same, but probably equally as boring.
It was very nice to have an evening with out the baby and my husband, but I felt guilty for thinking this way. That is why as soon as I sat in my car, and closed the door I called home.
Phone rang a few times...is that a good sign or a bad sign...was he going to answer? 4 rings...have then been forced from the house due to some disaster? 5 rings...is he hiding the screaming baby so that I do not hear him? After 6 rings my husband finally answered the phone. Phew. Even better is I hear no screaming, no crying, not even a muffled scream from a baby in a far away room. AND my husband did not sound flustered or frustrated. He tells me everything has been "okay" to me that means things were a little rough, but he pulled though. He told me he was watching a movie, and so I told him I would let him go.
I got home and daddy was on the chair watching a movie, the dog was on the back of the couch, and my son...Yep he was still breathing, sitting in his bouncy chair as happy as can be! Phew
I knew he could do it, but I was nervous none the less. After-all it was the first time I left my baby with his first time daddy.
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